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Making Friends With Anger – Utilizing Healthy Releasing Methods

Making Friends With Anger – Utilizing Healthy Releasing Methods

Anger can be one big emotion and most of us never learned how to properly express it. For some of us, anger can be a scary emotion – similar to the roar of a lion! This was one of the ways that I lived with anger. The other was the silent stewing resulting in an explosion.

Needless to say, I grew up a very scared little girl, always trying to do what was “right,” and diligently working to keep peace. My intention was to keep the eruptions in check.

Anger in our household could be the slamming of drawers or doors, fists banging on the table, loud screaming, things being thrown about and stomping of the feet accompanying any of the above. I can vividly remember eating dinner when there was screaming, a fork stabbed into the top of our newly refinished dining room table, and a cup of liquid poured over someone’s head! I’d say that is some scary releasing of pent up emotions. Roar! Needless to say, discovering the work of Louise Hay and how to effectively manage anger has been a gift to me.

Anger is a natural emotion. Everyone has feelings of anger arise in their lives. It is normal. It is natural. It is what we “do” with anger that makes all the difference. And, to piggy back on that thought, what we “do” with anger is not commonly taught anywhere; but, rather modeled in our homes. Case in point in my above personal story.

Unreleased anger can create dis-ease in our body. Long term suppressed anger can turn into depression or resentment. All of this is not conducive to our general well-being. So, let’s turn our attention towards the healthy ways of releasing anger.

First of all, it is important to tune into what your body is telling you. When we begin to mindfully call attention to our feelings, we are better able to manage them or in other words, “make friends with it.” When this information is brought forward into our conscious awareness, it then allows us to determine what necessary action must be taken to release the anger from our bodies.

One way to release anger is simple. It is the decision to “let it go.” Whatever “it” is, stop thinking about it, forgive it, and let it go. Another way to get it out of our bodies is to perform a physical release of some sort to move the energy. Common ways are: hitting a punching bag, screaming loudly in a car (which is stationary!) with the windows rolled up, beating a pillow on a bed, or mentioned below in the “suggested products” section is a “dammit doll,” a product made especially for the healthy release of anger.

I had a friend once that was quite upset and she released her anger in an empty squash court. She beat the heck out of a squash ball. I’ll never forget her red face when she finished. When I asked her how she felt, her response was, “Great! I got it out and I am hungry!” That’s a healthy release.

A few other more gentle ways are to talk to someone you trust about the situation, exercise, write in a journal, listen to music, be creative, and maybe even take a nap. Anger uses a lot of energy.

Whatever way resonates with you, I invite you to try a few out. You deserve a happy, healthy, joy-filled life; and one of the ways in which to have that is by learning to manage anger.

Sandra Filer

HYL Licenced Teacher and Coach

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