No Means No! A Strategy in Taking Action Towards Your Dreams
What is it That Your Heart Keeps Guiding You to Do?
That very first thing that just popped into your awareness is that thing. Write it down. It may not be new to you. You may have been aware of it for some time now. The question is:
What needs to be removed or rearranged for the co-creation to begin?
We each live full Lives. There is no limit to what our energy could be spent on. In fact, if you are like me, you may feel that your energy is being s t r e t c h e d in every direction.
There are a multitude of Facebook messages, tags in posts that call our attention, text messages, voicemail, email, favors being asked, events to attend, questions to answer, workshops to prepare for, travel plans to make, events to coordinate, marketing, and the list goes on and on and on … and on. In my head I hear the words from an old Calgon commercial, “Calgon, take me away!”
Just the other day, as I began to feel myself even more stretched, I said to those around me, “I feel like pulling the Forest Gump. I’m just going to start running, and running, and never stop.” Perhaps you may have felt some of these same feelings?!
Instead of running, I stopped. I closed my computer. I turned off my phone. I put on my tennis shoes, grabbed my ear buds, and walked. I took a long, long, long walk and focused on my breath, steps, and surroundings.
I made a choice to invest in my own radical self care.
This brings me to the strategy that I’ve recently begun to implement in my Life and at work. First of all, I’m creating hours & activities that support my dreams. Secondly, I’m creating the absolute NO MEANS NO list. Yes. At 51 years of age, it is time for me to upgrade my Life and turn my attention to what my Soul longs to express.
What Does a NO MEANS NO list Consist of?
This list is one of the greatest gifts that you can give yourself. To begin, you may want to determine what is on your list of pleasurable things to do. That list may include: one hour of physical movement, ten minutes of mindful meditation, one fresh juice a day, an e-class per week, an afternoon snack plus a nap, writing for 30 minutes at 10:00 each morning, meeting with two clients per day, strategizing with an empowered partner each Monday at 11:00, disconnecting from all electronics, etc.
Having your pleasurable activities identified first, allows them to be placed appropriately into your Life as important aspects of your well-being and co-creating.
Before I go into the NO MEANS NO list, I want to speak to something here. Often times we hear the words TIME MANAGEMENT. If you go to any office supply store, you will see an entire aisle dedicated to making more time out of our already insanely chaotic Lives. Suffice it to say that I have finally concluded that more time is not the answer. It is better allocation of that time. And, it is SPACE. Clearing out all of the unnecessary crap that gets in our way of fully realizing and living in our potential.
Our Closets Get cluttered and So Do Our Calendars!
Begin by thinking about what frustrates you? That’s right. What just sends you into a tail spin. Maybe you begin searching for that Dammit Doll in this moment. Whatever that sense of frustration is, goes onto your NO MEANS NO list. Remove the frustration. That feeling of struggle is not in alignment with your greater good. There must be another way. This is the prime example of removing it or rearranging it.
Quick personal example: I booked a coaching client on a day before travel. The day was extremely harried. I attempted to re-schedule and was told no. They needed my support. I found myself in a total tail spin. I was stomping my feet. Swearing under my breath. Slamming things down instead of gently placing them. Yes. I was MAD. Kim asked me, very lovingly, “What is it that you are really upset about?” #nailed it
I was Upset Because I had Overcommitted Myself
This was an eye-opener for me. In that moment, I made a decision. I added an item to my NO MEANS NO list. 1) No appointments are made on a day before or after travel. Done. Now, it is up to me to love myself enough to stay true to the boundary I set for myself. A healthy boundary to give me SPACE.
Here are some other ideas for a NO MEANS NO list: (Or, I no longer … )
• Start external communication before 10:00 am
• Say “yes” when I want to say “no”
• Feel an obligation to spend time with people who are energy vampires
• Rush
• Keep anything in my home that I don’t love or need
• Go anywhere when I am sick
• Compromise my needs to keep peace with someone
• Do business with or receive care by anyone that treats me with disrespect
• Throw away anything that can be recycled
• Talk on the phone when I don’t want to talk on the phone
If this topic resonates with you and you’d like to explore it even more, join me for the Radical Self-Care Adventure Series. #radicalselfcare is not for wimps.
Self-care is the best health care.
The goal with this list is to (over time) create a rhythm, a routine, and the space for you to feel at home in your Life: safe, guided, protected, supported, and absolutely free to be your very best self, living Life to it’s fullest. And so it is!
Live. Love. Play. Prosper.
With love and gratitude,
Happie G