Recently, Kim shared with me that he would prefer that I not feed the cats out of the yellow bowl.I heard him say it.The little bowl is the ideal size for a cat portion of food.It sits in the pantry on the top of a stack of multi-colored bowls just beckoning me to use it in a pinch.So, one day, when the meowing wouldn’t stop, I reached into the pantry, grabbed the yellow bowl, and filled it with the perfect amount of cat food.Later, Kim returned home to discover that I had used the bowl. He was less than thrilled.
From this interaction, I began to realize something.He had asked me to do something and I had directly defied it.Why did I do this? In my mind, it was no big deal, it’is a bowl. To him, it was something that he had asked me to do (and we have PLENTY of cat bowls) and I didn’t do it.His preference is to use a cat bowl for cat food.
Dynamics of Relationships
This is so interesting to me. The dynamics of relationships. And, the relationship that we share just happens to be a very healthy and communicative one. Which, is something that I tell others whenever I am asked why our relationship works so well: we talk about things.
The next day, I noticed that Kim had left a bowl of dry cat food down on the floor. That sounds harmless enough, right? Well, I had asked him to please put all bowls of dry cat food up on the fireplace. We have an obese cat that we are working to whittle down just a wee bit. In that moment, I had an “aha.” I had asked Kim to do something that was important to me, he heard me, and he defied it.
With this awareness, we came together for a discussion. It became a ”yellow bowl” moment. During our interaction, we discovered that we both did the very same thing to one another. His yellow bowl moment was the same as my yellow bowl moment. Together we acknowledged that to be in connection and to honor one another’s wishes, we each need to be respectful and do what we have been asked when it is important to the other person.
We now have a code in our relationship.It is called: yellow bowl. Whenever a similar situation arises, we begin the discussion by stating, yellow bowl.
How do you handle your “yellow bowl” moments? I’m eager to hear!
Stay tuned for “I’m making the mashed potatoes!”
Live. Love. Play. Prosper.
**Sharing life and love through the eyes of a happy goddess. www.thehappygoddess.com